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Fanfic: Project Zero(Fatal Frame/Harry Potter, Itsuki Goes to Hogwarts, PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter/Fatal Frame (otherwise known as Project zero a horror game)
Title: Itsuki Goes to Hogwarts
Pairing: Hermione/Itsuki.
Rating: PG-13 for curses only. Not even a kiss in here.
Spoilers: Some mentions of Hermiones varies dates throughout Hogwarts.
Summary/Notes: This is just a reply to this meme here. Yuae asked for Hermione and Itsuki to be paired together and I got REALLY carried away. It exceeded the limit for a comment reply (the word count is about 7000) and so I ended up posting it as a fanfic. This is basically a very silly little story I typed out (not beta-read so if you spot any mistakes, please point it out) not meant to be taken seriously. It's just here to make you laugh, especially if it's just for the "WTF"-ness.
Feedback: Yes please :D Even if it's just to recommend an asylum.
Disclaimer: I think it's pretty obvious just from how bizarre this is that I own nothing.



Well this is how it goes:

Itsuki finally discovers like every other ghost on the face of the planet he can walk through solid objects. He was just being an idiot and thought he was still alive and never bothered trying to leave his cage.

Excited that he could finally explore places beyond his cage, he wandered about the village only to discover that everyone is gone because Mio broke the curse years ago. However, Itsuki is much too full of heavy teen angst and unrequited love to just move the hell on to his next life. Instead, he wanders around the world looking at food he can't eat, people he can't talk to because they don't have a sixth sense and pretty ropes he can't hang himself on because he's already dead.

One day he stumbles across Hogwarts. He'd really like to now why he had to swim across an entire ocean, apparently because the author told him to was not a good enough reason and he bitched about it while swallowing mouthfuls of sea water and trying to doggy paddle all the way there. He still hasn't worked out that he could just float over.

He discovers that at Hogwarts everyone can see him because they're all witches and wizards. Unfortunately, Itsuki is a sad, lonely, delusional boy and tells himself it's because he's one of them. The teachers aren't quite sure what to do with him so they just leave him to believe he is a student and hope he gets the hint one day.

Needless to say, Itsuki doesn't get the hint at all. Everyone else wears black robes and he wears his white, dusty ones he died in and he believes the different colour makes him special. He believes the walls go through him, not the other way around and the fact that he can't eat anything at the Great Hall is just because he's too special to accept the food in his stomach. It's not because he's dead or anything.

In classes, to simply put, he's a goody-two-shoes. He does all his homework the day he's assigned them (he's got nothing better to do... could you really see him having a social life of any sort whatsoever?); he speaks so politely to the teachers that it's dangerously bordering on sucking up to them and he studies so hard he's close to being at the top of all the classes he haunts.

Of course, no matter how hard he tries he can never be the very top student because in every single one of his classes Hermione Jean Granger has that position filled. It annoys Itsuki to no end, and in his head he sees them as fierce rivals.

Hermione, however, thinks he's rather cute. He's a good boy, unlike other students she can think of, and she thinks it's rather cute that somebody cares about their schooling even after they're dead. It's true what they say about it being never too late to get an education. She talks to him in a lot of their classes, never picking up on his hostile attitude because Itsuki's determind not to be seen as rude in front of the teachers.

One day, she asks him what happened to him in life and Itsuki wonders whether this is how she stays at the top of her classes: by blackmailing people once they've spilled all of their darkest secrets. He decides not to tell her, but unfortunately for him Hermione is a stubborn Gryffindor and doesn't give up as easily as a normal person would. She persists; tries to worm it out of their converstations; tries to catch him off guard in their talks, in the hallways, at the Great Hall and one day she words the question slightly differently.

"How did you die, Itsuki?"

He knew sitting at Gryffindor table in the Great Hall was a bad idea. He stares at her, completely bewildered.

"What do you mean die? I'm not dead."

Hermione seems to nod to herself as though she's suddenly understanding a new piece of information. It makes Itsuki feel uneasy. He swallows down some pumpkin juice, and as always, he's such a special student that it passes through him.

"But," Hermione says after watching him for a few moments with worried eyes, "If you're not dead, why does food pass through you like it does with ghosts?"

Itsuki doesn't have an answer and it scares him. Slowly, he begins to see that maybe Hermione is right. Nobody else but the ghosts can pass through walls, nobody else but ghosts are all drapped in white... Little things begin to make sense until finally he tries to jump off the top of the North Tower and discovers he doesn't die.

At first, he is miserable to discover that he is dead. He stops going to classes and decides to mope around in a ways that an emo kid would be proud. He's so sad he's tries to kill himself again because he's an idiot and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. Peeves laughs at him instead. Itsuki breaks things in anger and Peeves encourages him. The most unlikely friendship in history is formed and for a few weeks they torment Filch until Hermione comes to speak to Itsuki. Somehow, she convinces him to return to his classes.

Over the years, Itsuki starts to appreciate her more, in the way he used to appreciate Sae. He appreciates the way she fusses over little things, works so hard to be perfect despite the fact that in his eyes she already is and the fascinating way she pronounces her 'o's so that her lips move as if she's kissing. He appreciates that the most. That and the fact that she does not slaughter a whole village when her sister runs away.

The Yule Ball soon comes up and the teachers tell Itsuki that he cannot go because he is dead and having a ghost student would show up their school. He's crushed that he can't go, and also a little sad that he can't ask Hermione to go. Instead, some guy named Krum asks her and Itsuki retaliates by sending Peeves his way.

On the night of the Yule Ball, a few hours before it's due to start, Itsuki is moping in a broom cuboard and writing some whiney, emo poem about thorns and all that rubbish when a bright light floods the room. He squints through the light to see a woman standing before him looking almost like an angel. Perhaps, he's finally going to move on?

"It's about friggin' time you got here," he snaps at the woman angrily, "So are you going to move me on or--"

The woman interupts him. "That was a very noble thing you did tonight, Casper."

He's silent for a moment, simply staring at her and trying to figure out when his name became 'Casper'.

"E-excuse me?" he says as he mind is completely blank and confused.

The woman continues.

"I know Kat will never forget it. She needs her father. And I know yours will never forget it either."

What the hell is this woman blabbering on about? Itsuki thinks to himself.

"You fulfilled his greatest dream, Casper."

Wow, that sounds gay... What the hell does this woman think I did?

"And I know he is very, very proud of you. And for what you've done, I'm giving you your dream in return. But it's just for tonight. Sort of a Cinderella deal."

Itsuki has no idea who Casper is, who the hell Kat is or what guy is supposedly proud of him but he decides not to correct her because it sounds like he's getting something out of this. Before he can say anything though, she disappears.

Well, that was trippy, Itsuki thinks to himself.

He tries to walk through the door, but for the first time he collides into it.

"What the hell!?" he swears as he hold his sore nose.

He tries to walk through it again, looses a few more brain cells until he realises he's completely solid. An surge of happiness rushes through him as he rushes off to steal some spare robes and enter the Yule Ball. He finds Hermione there and has the best night of his life, and true to what the trippy woman said, it ends at midnight. Itsuki becomes a ghost again and Hermione has to move on.

She ends up with Ron, which Itsuki just finds insulting. At least Hermiones lets him haunt him whenever he makes her mad.

END

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....I got carried away. This was only supposed to be a bit of fun so it's riddled with mistakes and the like.